Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize