we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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