The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Sext me about skeletons
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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