She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
