I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
he puts the penis in happiness.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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