we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
