Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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