the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
