his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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