I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
