i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
