operation harelip BJ is a go
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
