I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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