I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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