I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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