What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
