Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
