he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize