He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize