we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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