I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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