k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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