i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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