i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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