dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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