Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
