This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
