you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
