I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
