The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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