i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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