Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize