I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
