Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
