She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
