I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
