This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize