ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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