no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize