i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
