He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Randomize
