i think i have two assholes
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
