Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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