Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
