Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I understand Curling. That high.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
