she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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