i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
