someone get that fucking seahorse.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
