GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
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