Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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