dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
