i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize