He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
