My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
