I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
