i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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