I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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