I want to make a zoo with you.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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