The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
