She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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