Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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