yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
