i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
