that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Randomize
