i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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