are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
