When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
where am i from again
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Randomize
