these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
