i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
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