This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
