i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
The air taste purple.
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