He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize
