Yo dont text me then not text me
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize