Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
