you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Randomize
